Captivity

I wake up in the morning waiting for the day to end

I would give just about anything to be able to break or bend

these rules and restrictions called space and time

as I lay in this bed steady losing my mind

It is beyond the point of having days left to go

instead its bundles of 24 hours and they go so slow

and I feel every one of them as my contemption grows

watching out the window as no redemption shows

My very own mind has become a prison cell

these four walls and this bed have become my hell

time and time again I think of breaking out

but I'm constantly reminded of all the inmates that have been taken out

So instead I find my solace in thinking of you

the thought of seeing you again is what's getting me through but its a double edged sword, dreaming of your touch

because i dont have you my soul must bare the cuts

This isn't a word on love but of a torn and battered spirit

but of course when one is in love, others can't help but feel it

this is more a cry for help to find what I have lost

although I can't say what it looks like, what it does, or what it costs.

So who has the patience to walk with mw, talk with me, remind me who I'm supposed to be, show me how it feels to be free since i can't find these things in me, I just lay in my cell all day long, watching the fanblades singing my song, and I feel like i'm the little ball thats in pong, helpless to better myself. Thrown here and there no end in sight, should I escape they just put me right where I just came from yelling "don't move scum" but then impel me to be thrown here and there. And it goes on like this until the players get bored. They move on to have fun and I go back to the ward, to my very own packaging where I will safely be stored until they need me again because some more players are bored. So here i come towards the board but I don't know what for or what's the score or whats in store after August fourth. I'm losing sight of my goal I'm becoming blind as a mole. Or is it a bat? I just feel ready to pack my life away like I'm becoming a rat that you can dress up in some shoes and a hat , and if you stay long enough I might just do a tap dance just for you, now don't you feel special? And then you can go on about your day but still my flesh will continue to tighten up as its trying to shut me up and I start to feel like what the fuck am I doing just close the book or else you might just learn how to read

I'm not quite sure what I've been talking about and if you asked me to, I don't think that i could recount. I just sit with a pen and paper and things start to spout, I'm sure eventually I'll know what this was about, but for now I'll just say peace y'all i'm out.

Confusion

To be torn in the mind to a point where one goes blind where once the sun did shine and it wasn’t hard to find whatever one was looking for but then all of a sudden there’s a quake there goes the floor. Then you’re left in the wake of your unknown mistake as you drown in your lake of self loathing. Can’t breathe can’t see where am I going? Can’t hear speak as the hatred is growing, nothing to do but watch as my heart just keeps slowing until it is at a dangerous pace. Searching desperately for a friendly face, someone who will come get me out of this place but none arrive I am left by myself to survive and with only my own mind to contrive the way to revive my former livelihood. But my sense is already shook at this point I can’t determine a friend from a crook so I shoot them both and keep walking to where? I don’t know but I know that that’s where I will go somewhere where there’s no difference between yes and no.

Discoveries

I don’t know what itch I scratch for you or what hole I fill I'm nothing extraordinary and I’m definitely not worth your time if I'm not there physically but somehow you continue to believe that I can do something for you. I don’t mind at all because I want to get to know you. You were put into my path for a reason I know that to be true just because the way the puzzle pieces fall into place is too perfect for it to just be by chance. I want to be with you but I don’t know what to do considering there are so few moments between us two. But I know that you make me smile and I would like you to stay a while I don’t mind going through your trial if you stay with me every mile. I’ll wait and see where this goes but girl I already know that ive never met anyone like you before. Nor will another come knocking on my door who I would like to know more or give everything for the times we have in store. Now I know that’s lookin forward but I can’t help but wait and see where we go on our first real date and when somethings hanging on your heart like a heavy weight I want to be the one you run to to cure your forlorn state. I don’t think I'm wrong when I say I’ve waited so long for someone like you to come along.

Living the Dream

I have found my wings, my voice so i can sing my eyes so i can see what I'm doing. With my thoughts laid out as I listen to the sound of a new love quickly brewing. Here I stand as i hold out my hand I think you should come grab ahold and see where we land maybe in the sand and before us an ocean of gold. I just can’t see anything past you and me and that big oak tree with that gentle breeze kissing us both as it rolls by. And with its goodbye I still feel I can fly because you take me high. And with cliché in the air we both lay there no need to ruin it with a care but I can’t help but stare at the beauty that was put right beside me. I don’t think you’ll ever know how deep this dream is sewn right down to the core of my soul but I just want to let you know that that’s right where it belongs. And as long as it stays I can keep up the pace of life’s long race and what’s more I can actually live in it because soon instead of dreamin about it I can be livin it. That’s all I want is for you and me to be livin it.